Twenty five of the Descendants of Patrick and Lena got together this past Saturday to spark conversations about next steps. We enjoyed some tasty burgers from Peter’s cattle in Virginia as well as Sue’s famous homemade cider doughnuts. The leaves, while past peak, were brilliant. The shade was quite chilly unless you were standing by the fire or wrapped in many blankets like Irene. We dragged the picnic tables out of the shade and enjoyed our conversations while the sun was shining gloriously upon us.
We had a brief full group conversation about the goals for the day along with a call for any Most Important Things that others wanted to keep in the forefront of our minds. Peter started by reminding us all that this is the first time our family has ever tried something like this, governing and making decisions together, and that we needed to come to this work with patience, faith and openness. He described the two different legal entities involved. The first is the Three Generations L3C which owns the property. The only function of this entity is to protect the property and family members from liability in the unlikely event of a lawsuit. The second entity is the structure that will provide decision making and where work will get done.
Peter also asked if anyone had any Most Important Things to share as a whole group before we broke into smaller conversations. Sue shared that she was looking forward to reuniting the extended family, and that we should consider what we leave to the next generation. Kate shared that she will be thinking about how those of us that no longer live in the valley can be involved and contribute. Junior stressed (51% dammit!) that he felt the Rob Traverse family should hold over 50% of the decision making as he felt these were the wishes of Patrick and Lena in leaving the land to Rob. He reminded us that power shared among many can be a place where big family problems start. Shirley shared that her parents decided all along that Rob would get it and that it was good to involve others but she shared Junior’s feelings about the majority of say going to Rob’s family. Irene added, “as long as it don’t get people fighting with each other”. Pam shared that we all have some Traverse in us and that we can “work as a Traverse” no matter which part of the extended family we come from. There was an acknowledgment that there has always been different family members doing the work, with the example of the Beayons coming up to help build the pavilion. Sue shared that she thinks we can look at family a different way, as a Clan.
Peter ended the larger group conversation by directing our attention to the old cemetery. This was once a family cemetery like ours, and it is now abandoned like so many other family cemeteries around Vermont. Will that happen to our family as well? With this reminder of the future we broke into groups to continue our conversations. For this preliminary talk we broke into three groups: Cemetery, Land Use, and Communication. We were asked to say what is on our minds and try not to stop someone else from saying something we don’t agree with. With these rough ground rules in place we moved into our groups.
The Cemetery group talk about the old saying in the family of “first come, first served.” They felt that this doesn’t mean you will not get buried with family, for example husband and wife. Some thought is needed to plan how to lay out the cemetery including how many in future generations, if any, are interested in being buried there. They suggested bringing in dirt to raise up the field to allow for casket burial. Others in the larger group suggested cremation only. The Cemetery group wants some money in a reserve account and wants to start saving for big projects on the horizon including: permits, new fencing, and even cleaning of stones. There were questions raised about how to do this and how much money might be needed. There was a suggestion that Bowkes & Sons could maybe clean all headstones instead of one family at a time as currently happens. And something about Jan Ladd and a cemetery Association in Benson…Sue? Lastly this group spent some time talking about how they wondered if this process was creating a rift in the Robert and Irene family because of the L3C being extended to all of Patrick and Lena’s family. The cemetery group plans to meet around Pat and Pam Traverse’s table to continue working. Please reach out to Sue if you are interested in joining them.
The Land Use group discussed the idea of taking donations for weddings held at the Upper Place. While donations cannot be accepted before an event due to liability, it was thought that maybe after an event happens we could accept donations. Peter suggested that the donations would have to be made after the event and we could not specify the amount of money for donations. There seems to be some sticking points between having rules on record versus specifically not having rules when it comes to liability. Peter shared that once we have a rule written down or waivers for example, this opens us up to potentially more liability issues. More discussion and fact finding is needed in this area. We discussed the building of an access road versus using the existing stream crossing. Some benefits of the crossing are that it has been used for many years by many types of vehicles and that it would not cost anything. A drawback is that it would require that someone get in the stream with heavy equipment a couple times per year to keep it open. It may also be inviting to non family members as it is right off from the main road. The new road was talked about as possibly being an eyesore. It was also shared that the road might discourage people from driving over to the new picnic area since the access is up beyond the small bridge by Marty’s old camp. A question was raised about whether access matters all the time or whether people only intend to use the land for a small part of the year. There was a suggestion to build the road but not put a road through the field for now. There is a need for more discussions on how to keep the area wild and accessible for hunting but also provide access to other users. Junior suggested that we set up some regular work weekends and let people know ahead of time so that many of us can attend. We also agree that we don’t want to spend money we don’t have. And we all want to make sure we get to use the land to reconnect with family as it has been used in the near and distant past. There were picnics there almost every Sunday for many years. We want this type of connection for our family now. There was no specific plan to continue these talks at any specific time. If anyone is interested in spearheading this conversation and holding regular meetings please reach out to Peter.
The Communication group discussed the need for many different ways to be in touch with family. Brady suggested creating a family website that anyone can access for free from a public library if they don’t have a computer. There is a need for a regular Facebook page and manager of Facebook communication. The group suggested having a point of contact in each branch of the family that can call or email their immediate family members. The group thought that this point of contact could also be responsible for regular updates to the family tree. It was suggested that any future family conversations could be recorded for those that cannot attend. Communication can be send via mail, email, a phone tree, and through Facebook. The group also brought up a need for outreach within the family to connect to as many members as possible. There was a suggestion to have a family activity either at the horseshoe tournament or at another function. Also members agreed that there should be a regular date for a Descendants of Patrick and Lena picnic. Many in the larger group agreed that the plan to meet next year on the same weekend in October may not work. This was a beautiful sunny day and it was still cold for older and very young family members. There is no specific plan to continue this work in communication. If you are interested in spearheading this work please contact Peter.
All groups came together to share out what they had talked about to the whole group. While some people called for the creation of a board to start making decisions, Peter said that at this point it was more important to get people to show up and do work. He encouraged all of us in attendance to continue the work we had started today. We scattered in the cooling fall breeze until another time. A few of us stayed long enough to watch the fire die down and walk up the road to see the posts installed for a new gate. It was a lovely day and a great conversation starter. Please join in the conversations by contacting Peter or Sue. And please reach out if you would like to be more involved. In the words of Spike Lee, with great power comes great responsibility. And with the immense responsibility to preserve this space for our future generations comes great power. We each have the power to be involved and to contribute to our family legacy.
-Kate Condon, Peter’s daughter
THREE GENERATIONS 